Friday, November 28, 2008

Why Tweens Shouldn't Have Disposable Income

After a mildly interesting first half, the film devolves into a poorly paced, incredibly soulless second half. How does one make a film about vampire love so fucking boring? Was it the superficial characters and relationships without any real substance? Yes, but it doesn't end there. Stephanie Meyer, the author of the books, has taken the piss out of vampires. She has sanitized them into something silly, as opposed to monstrous. Vampires are meant to be wildly erotic, unleashing sexuality. At least, that's how Bram Stoker wrote them--and that's worked for over 100 years, so why change it?

Stephanie Meyer is interested in telling a story about abstinence. She is a strict Mormon, and she's using vampire mythology to tell a story about resisting the urge to "drink blood"--Sorry, FUCK. Boring.

Did you know that Meyer's vampires sparkle in the sun? I don't care how you cut it, that's fucking stupid.

I realize that I'm not the target audience for this film, but that shouldn't matter. Good art, and good storytelling transcends demographics. I'm a huge fan of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, which has already told this story--much, much better. The reason Twilight has become so popular is because Tweens don't know better, and they have disposable income. Thankfully, Twilight will just be another passing fad. At least, I hope so, or our culture's in trouble.

1 comment:

The Team said...

I absolutely agree. Fucking diluted monstrosities. Count Drakul would be rolling over in his grave. Keep up the good work.